I Need A Real Life Delete Button.

While I will admit I’m a pretty avid social media user, I will say that I don’t spend a whole lot of time really fine tuning the details. For example, for the first time in quite a while, I just went through my entire list of friends on facebook and eradicated 30 people. A few more probably could have made that list, but I guess I’m just not at that point where every single thing they say makes me want to break bricks on my own face in hopes of erasing the stupidity/ignorance. Yet.

At the risk of exposing you to some ludicrous behavior, I provide you with examples:

  1. I’m tired of the posts from the woman in her forties crying like a girl in her teens about how her life isn’t worth living because her boyfriend in his twenties is doing things boys in their twenties do. I’m not entirely sure what you were expecting when you date a kid that was once best friends with your son, but I can assure you that you are correct when you say “no one understands.” I can’t even be bothered to begin to try.
  2. I’m tired of the posts from the kids (who were already living beyond their means) who thought it would be fun to have a baby and think it’s okay to constantly ask for handouts (while currently living on handouts already given to them by people who don’t really have the means to be doing so). Thank god none of you have jobs because now you can spend all your time playing the new Fallout 4 on your big ass flat screen television. Oh, and don’t worry about your kids vaccines. I’m sure you’ll learn some sort of life skill from Fallout that will allow you to battle the illnesses you’ve now practically begged the universe to send their way.
  3. I’m tired of the posts from those dolts with photos of their pistols under the caption “Getting ready for ISIS”. I’m not really sure if I need to elaborate on this. I hope not. Who gave your idiot ass a gun? Let me know when you shoot yourself in the foot in reality just like you do every day with your stupid mouth.
  4. I’m tired of the wives who clearly did NOT read my PSA and are continuing to demean their husbands because he did this one thing wrong and you feel like you’re entitled. He didn’t end up with three kids all by his damn self and he sure as hell shouldn’t have to figure everything out all by his damn self. Admit you’re hormonal and give him a break.
  5. I’m tired of the posts from these women who obviously believe that they need someone to be happy. I get it. Someone broke your heart. That whole “I’ve been so hurt and I’ll never trust anyone again” act gets really tired when you’re with a new dude every three weeks. Also, stop making him out to be the asshole when he decides a few weeks in that this isn’t what he signed up for. It’s not his fault you didn’t lay it all out on the table from the beginning and now he’s afraid of your freak flag. Sometimes, what you think you want is different from what you really want and you only figure it out by moving forward. Learn to be an adult and understand that, sometimes, things just aren’t right and let that be okay.
  6. I’m tired of the posts from the people who think they’re harder than they really are. I’m fully aware that in times of hardship, people go through phases. I’m aware that some days you feel a hell of a lot more capable of taking on the world than others. But don’t tell me what a fighter you are just to counter that 10 seconds later with “I can’t go on because of this thing that, just yesterday, I swore I would make my bitch.” If you’re really a fighter, be a fighter all the time. Getting tired of the fight is normal. But I’m not going to take you seriously if you claim you’re going to come out on top while shoving cake frosting in your face waiting for the next thing to come around and make it okay.
  7. I’m tired of the posts from the people who wish their lives were harder than they are. Stop texting me about how your husband doesn’t love you and your dad was never there when I’ve actually been physically present to witness how untrue that is. Be considerate of the fact that there are actually people out there who really do have these problems. They deserve my sympathy and emotional effort far more than you do. You’re dramatic. Not unloved. You’re pissy because things aren’t going EXACTLY how you want them to and because you’ve always gotten your way (thanks to that same daddy who was “never there”) and you don’t know how to respond to that rationally.

    And finally,

  8. I’m tired of the posts from people who try to tell everyone else how they should feel/react/think about anything EVER. When I post that I’m sorry for Paris and you come at me with “Well what about every other sad thing ever? You must not care because of [insert ridiculous social justice bullshit here]” it makes me want to scream. I don’t need to defend my sympathies to you and it’s that kind of behavior that instigates defensiveness and anger instead of just understanding that our hearts all break for one thing or another in one way or another and adding that resolve to be loving to the pot. We’re already fighting so much as a human race. Why do we constantly feel the need to fight each other?

I suppose, in general, I have the unrealistic yearning for everyone to just get along and be decent human beings. Maybe I’ve encountered too much in too condensed a time period to be tolerant of these people and the things they say. But better to go about things this way than be instinctive because what I really wanted to do was just go House M.D. on these idiots and never look back.

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